I borrowed the line "getting yourself to behave rather than the food" from Gwen Shamblin, author of The Weigh Down Diet. Her book is a faith-based approach to weight loss. Disclaimer though: I read her book three times and gained five pounds with each reading. This was for a lot of reasons, not the least of which was that she advised to eat dessert first if that's what you want. I took that literally and ate dessert and never got around to the meal.
I don't buy everything she says. But she does have some very valid points that stuck with me. One is that you can relearn how to eat and no longer be obsessed. You can learn to make yourself behave instead of the food. That's what I finally started doing these last two years.
Here's what worked for me. When I first started, I'd quit even when I felt even just a little bit satisfied. And, then I ran. Well, got as far away from the food as I could. My husband eats incredibly slowly. In fact, slower than anyone I know. He methodically takes each bite, chews, swallows, wipes his mouth with his napkin, puts down his fork, picks up his fork, and then starts the process all over again. A little frustrating when you're on a timeline and you can't speed him up. Also,that much time sitting at the table while he goes through this process is dangerous.
So, now when I eat with him and whoever else is at the table, when I feel I've had enough, I don't go for seconds. If there is any left on my plate, I ask if anyone wants it. If noone does, I get up from the table and start to pack up the leftovers for lunches the next day.
We have an open kitchen so I'm not rude; I still converse with everyone. Of course, I first ask if anyone want seconds before I start packing it all away. I start doing the dishes. If my husband is still not done, I excuse myself and go on my merry way. (Now, this may be rude but understand I've been in the kitchen for two hours at this point.)
Try eating until just a little satisfied and then stopping. If you are overweight and eat until you're completely full you will probably not lose weight. You will learn what full is. If you want to know the truth (maybe you don't), you will have to experience hunger for awhile before your body adjusts to eating less.
For the first six weeks when I started to eat less, I about wanted to gnaw my arm off. Here's the good news though (besides that I still have my arm): I became less hungry the closer I got to my goal weight. The reason you'll be ravenous at first is you've been eating to maintain a mother-load weight. Once you get to where you want to be, you eat less to maintain a smaller body and your body won't be protesting, "Feed me, feed me!! I have extra rolls here I want to keep!" Just like a Volkswagon Beetle requires a lot less gas than a big SUV, so a small body requires less food. (That's my own analogy; I think it's pretty clever.)
At first you will feel deprived. Get over it. Tell yourself you will get to eat again. At the next meal.
Check out the excerpt from Shamblin's book. Google: Getting the food to behave Gwen Shamblin. The excerpt gives you her best ideas. I don't like her website too much. Sorry, but I can't completely trust someone with that twangy of a voice and that big of hair.
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